Well For me a big thing that helps me to be a better person and father is to take time outs. Some times it isn't just the kids that need them. It is the adults to.
Tonight my kid was so tired and as a matter of fact quite cranky if he didn't get everything he wants, and precisely how. We made him a snack for before he went to bed and that back fired. He threw it on the floor twice and then basically tried to do it again. I swatted him and realized that I was really tired and exasperated and need to stop the course of this interaction or my actions may get regretful. Having two unreasonable people interacting at once is a not a productive thing. So we took a time out and he was still unreasonable but I was at least in control again and things went passably before we put him to bed. The product of all this was he went to bed tired and a bit sad that he had to go to bed, but didn't go to bed afraid and mad at me or worse both of us parents.
So take a time out so that you can breath...they will not repair quickly and usually will get worse fast as actions aren't positive in their direction.
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